Getting the Most from Dating and Romantic Relationships

Dating has pleasures and rewards: companionship, the approval or praise that your partner gives you, the inspiration to be better, and physical gratification. There are pleasures and there are problems. A few basic strategies can increase the pleasures and lessen the problems.

Romantic relationships happen because of the hope a couple has for a happy life together. The relationship will continue to be pleasant and rewarding as long as the couple stays concerned with what is good about the relationship.

Don't expect a perfect relationship. If you expect too much, it makes your relationship seem less valuable by comparison. Problems will occur. If you are too concerned with the problems, you will stop paying attention to what is good in the relationship.

Love is a feeling that needs to be based on respect and trust. Respect and trust can be had only after you know each other's values and priorities. That takes time and a lot of interaction. Get to know each other. Trust and respect will develop if you both have the same basic values and concerns. If love happens, it will be based on respect, admiration and a belief that you can continue to build a rewarding relationship.

Be positive. Everyone has good qualities. Everyone has faults. Your attitude should signal the other person that you will patiently deal with each other's shortcomings. Don't expect to be very good at this. Being tolerant and non-condemning is a challenge. But consciously making an effort to be tolerant goes a long way.

Don't rely too much on the dinner and a movie routine. Be involved in each other's lives. Find activities that you both like and do them together. These can be activities such as gardening, cooking, hobbies, conversation, recreation, an interest in art, charity volunteering, and family activities. Once in a while try something new such as hiking, walking through a corn maze, attending a renaissance fair, or taking a scenic train ride.

Share ideas to find ways to more enjoy living. Tell your sweetheart about strategies you use for such things as achieving goals and enjoying yourself. Tell each other about what you think is interesting, what is worthwhile, and what is encouraging. If you share positive ideas, you will think of each other as pleasant and enjoyable.

Encourage your partner to act and make decisions. Both of you will be able to accomplish more with the other's support and encouragement. When there is a disagreement, be patient. If you need to criticize, offer a positive alternative rather than a condemnation. Your encouragement likely will produce more good results than will your objections.
Alan Detwiler writes about leisure enjoyment. His digital book "Date Ideas: Fun Things To Do For Couples" is available at www.ebookmall.com/ebook/148779-ebook.htm


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